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A torment for the purchasers of glasses.

That is to say, a torment for those of us in their company, of course, but that doesn’t give as snappy a title, and in this modern world of snappy titles, I feel that the reorientation of tormentations about the tormentors (as opposed to the tormented) doesn’t seem to fit well. But if you have any suggestions for titles, then please, by all means, write them on a postman, and send them in, and I will do my best to give them a jolly reception.

So, a little torment for today:

Let’s say that somebody has bought a new pair of glasses, just, and that they are terribly proud of them, showing them around and the like. If they are weak of character, then to spoil their burgeoning pride can take but a single sentence, spoken in a “tactful” (not necessarily discrete), carefully-metered tone:

“They look lovely only, aren’t they just, just a little lopsided?”

of course, whether they are or not isn’t the point; all you wish is to foist an embryonic torment onto their souls in the hope that it will germinate and blossom into something altogether wonderful.

2 Comments

  1. Rob wrote:

    This is something to do with me, yes?

    Monday, October 23, 2006 at 10:40 pm | Permalink
  2. Marc wrote:

    This also works with fringes that aren’t even following a haircut. Less of a financial issue but aggravating nonetheless.

    Sunday, October 29, 2006 at 7:54 pm | Permalink

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